I feel blessed that Dennis is recovering, even as he faces new challenges ahead. Staying positive is key, and I believe that every situation can lead to a meaningful outcome. Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.
My partner of over 20 years suffered a cardiac arrest three and a half years ago, plunging our lives into chaos as I navigated through various challenges and barriers in the healthcare system. In the ICU, doctors gave my partner, Dennis, a grim prognosis: he was in a coma on life support, with failing kidneys, severe brain damage, and complications with his heart and lungs.
After a month, I had to make a difficult decision, take him off life support and place him on a trach and g-tube or end his life. I faced an enormous responsibility in making this decision. Ultimately, I chose to continue his life. A few weeks later, he was transferred to a complex care center, where I could take him outside and enjoy the garden. His condition gradually improved; he began tracking me with his eyes and responding to my voice.
I began doing research about brain plasticity and was hopeful for his full recovery. I visited Dennis daily at the care center, stimulating him with exercises, music, and hockey games. In turn, he achieved milestones, like turning his head and regaining the ability to sweat and snore. However, by the three-month mark, his condition worsened, and his coccyx wound started deteriorating. Since then, I took charge of his care and collaborated with a new wound specialist to ensure Dennis was repositioned regularly. My advocacy and involvement as a caregiver improved his condition over time.
Three years later, Dennis continues to recover. While I feel exhausted, I’m grateful for the allies I've made along the way. In this challenging situation, I've learned to prioritize my own well-being, establish boundaries, and focus on what truly matters: being there for my partner, our dog, and my family. I’ve also discovered some coping strategies that helped me navigate this journey:
- Cooking wholesome meals from scratch.
- Spending mindful time in nature with our dog.
- Listening to music for both energy and relaxation.
- Volunteering in the community.
- Making time for family gatherings but set boundaries with negative people.
- Reminding myself that a good night’s sleep can change my perspective.
Every caregiver’s journey is unique, learn about OCO’s free programs and services that can help support your own health and well-being at ontariocaregiver.ca.