Taking care of someone can be a meaningful and rewarding experience. But what many people may not realize is that caregiving can come with its own form of grief. Whether it’s grieving a loss of independence for the person you care for, a change in their personality due to an illness or disease, or the emotional toll of the work itself, caregivers may face an overwhelming emotional toll that can be just as painful as the grief of losing someone.
The National Grief and Bereavement Day (November 18) can serve as a reminder that grief isn’t just about death. For caregivers, it may also include small, painful losses that may occur while caring for someone. To better understand how caregivers can navigate these complex emotions, we asked Stephanie Muskat, a caregiver and mental health clinician, to share her insights:
Q: What kind of emotions might caregivers feel while grieving, and how can they cope with these feelings?
A: It’s very normal to feel anger, sadness, confusion, and even numbness. These are normal parts of the grieving process. Your emotions will ebb and flow during this time and seeking support can be important as you learn to validate, normalize, and process these emotions. You can try talking to a therapist, journalling your feelings, or practicing mindfulness to stay grounded. Remember, there’s no “right” way to grieve.
Q: What are some types of grief that caregivers may experience?
A: Grief doesn’t just happen when someone passes away. It can happen when the person you care for is still here. For example, if you’re caring for someone with dementia, you may feel that you’ve lost the person you once knew. As a result, you may feel guilt or shame for having these thoughts. However, it’s important to understand that these emotions are a natural part of the caregiving process. Acknowledging your feelings, rather than suppressing them, can help alleviate feelings of guilt. Consider joining a support group so you don’t have to go through this alone.
Q: Where can caregivers find support?
A: Caregivers can feel isolation and loneliness during this time, especially if they don’t have family or friends to rely on. The resources provided by the Ontario Caregiver Organization are a good place to start. You can call the Ontario Caregiver Helpline and a representative will be there to listen to you and identify resources that may help. The SCALE Program is also another resource that can help you cope with the emotional aspects of caregiving.
Explore more grief and loss resources on our website.
