I recently saw a social media post that really resonated with me: “Marry someone who will sit with you in the hospital.” It reminded me that for caregivers, love is often expressed not through grand gestures, but in the quiet, steadfast act of simply being there.
In 2018, when Michael was diagnosed with cancer, I became his caregiver. As Michael’s cancer progressed, it became increasingly difficult to offer the comfort I longed to give. By late 2022, after years of treatment and complications, he was gone.Through this journey, I learned that caregiving is a full-body, full-heart commitment. The physical tasks like coordinating appointments, advocating in the hospital, managing medications were only part of the challenge. The hardest part was the emotional toll of watching someone you love in pain, especially when comfort feels out of reach.
Caregiving changes you. It deepens your empathy, strengthens your resilience, and leaves scars that aren’t always visible. But it also gives you a voice. I’ve decided to use mine to advocate for trauma-informed palliative and cancer care, raise awareness about lung cancer, and support caregivers so they can find guidance, understanding, and hope.
Michael once wrote, “Even though life has sometimes dealt me some lousy cards, I always ended up with a pretty good hand.” As his wife and caregiver, I feel the same. Love gave us both more than we ever expected.
To fellow caregivers: your love and presence matters. Even when it feels too much, know that you’re not alone.
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